2 years ago today my much loved Grandma Mia died. 2 years is a long time right? Today it doesn't feel that long. I still miss her so much and she has left such a hole in my life not being here anymore. There are times when I still miss her so badly it feels like my heart actually physically aches.
There are so many things I have wished since that day two years ago. I wish I didn't take her granted. I wish I didn't get so easily annoyed at her sometimes and snap at her. I wish I hadn't of avoided her at times when I was angry at her....oh how I wish.
I told her often that I loved her and always thanked her for the things she did for me but I still hope to this day that my she knew how much I loved her (love her). Her death was a shock to us all even though she was in hospital at the time, even though it was suspected to be bowel cancer because this was Mia! Mia wasn't ever going to die, she was always going to be around.....
My grandma was one of the strongest and toughest women I have ever known. She wasn't perfect but who cares she was still the best grandma ever as far as I am concerned. She was loving and was giving. She was always there for her family. Although there was no point ever arguing with her because she was always right lol
My grandma was the one constant throughout my whole life. I didn't have a stable upbringing, I lived in many different places, with many different relatives but she was always there for me throughout it all. Which is why it hurts to remember how harsh I was with her at times and yet she always forgave me, it never stopped me being her favourite lol
I love when I get together with other family members and we talk about Mia and laugh about the funny things she did at times. It's nice being able to remember with a smile and not just tears.
Ever since she has died this place that I have called home for so long, hasn't felt the same, it just doesn't quite feel like home anymore, how can it she isn't here anymore. Even now when I drive near where she use to live, I still look in....
I am grateful that I spent a lot of time with her in her last months, especially seeing as I didn't know they would be her last months. It makes me sad though that Jack and Bella won't remember her. Jack loved Mia! We use to go there every Thursday afternoon and as soon as we got there he would go to the freezer and get a cup of ice as he knew Mia was going to give him a cordial lol
Jack did remember her for months, because for months and I mean months every Thursday afternoon he would ask if we were going to Mia's....but now I can show him her photo and he will ask who is that? So I plan to keep telling him about her and how much she loved us.
I always knew when Mia died I would miss her so much, but I didn't realise it would be this much...... Love you always Mia xox
